Gawker.com has published a bunch of articles claiming Wes to be the most annoying liberal arts school. We only won over Sarah Lawrence because they published that they were trying to win. The articles are pretty funny. While I think we should be high up there, I think the medal should have gone to Sarah Lawrence or Hampshire...
Article that contains the vote
Wesleyan Wins!
Here are some of the comments made:
"My best friend from high school went to Wes. He was the nerdy Phish technocrat who laid awake at night listening to his amorous roommates fucking. He now works for Merriam-Webster as a dictionary editor."
"One of my friends goes to Wesleyan and lives in the Buddhist House. She is white and not a Buddhist. Everyone in the house is white and none of them were raised Buddhist, either. If that doesn't sum up Wesleyan I don't know what will. To think I almost went there..."
"My girlfriend went to Wesleyan. She keeps dragging me to house parties in Brooklyn thrown by other Wesleyanites. I dread these parties. I have feigned leprosy in order to avoid them. I have claimed to be a Libertarian and Ayn Rand fan in order for the Wes grads to stop telling me stories about the Naked Dorm, the Naked Parties, the Naked granola station.
Last year a good friend invited me to dinner to convince her high school senior son "R____" to choose Wesleyan over SLC, Reed, Kenyon et al. I shot from the hip.
about a certain former women's college :
"Aw, that school is a union busting bastion of rich kids with opium pipes."
about a certain school in the Pacific Northwest:
"Yeah, you'll wake up one day in the quad on mushrooms dressed in your aunts baggy panties with hoof marks branded on your ass."
about a certain school in CT:
"Dude, the guy who created Buffy went there...do you know the Buffy musical episode with Hinton Battle? *sings "Let Me Rest In Peace"*"
about SLC:
"Man, I gotta be honest...you will meet a girl at orientation...by the end of 1st semester, both of you will become THE WORST KIND OF LESBIANS. And then one of you will do prison time alone."
about a school in Minnesota:
"Sorry, they have to import colored people to that hood...and they won't have any pineapple near the cereal bar...just maple syrup."
He wound up going to Wesleyan. I think I am going to Hell."
"Please vote for Wesleyan. Here is why: I recently ran into a Wesleyan undergrad I went to high school with. When I inquired as to his summer plans, he said he had gotten a research grant to study homelessness in New York. This "study" included a two-week stint as - i'm not shitting you - an actual homeless person. The rich hipstard actually lived on the street for two weeks and "hung out" with homeless people, and WESLEYAN PAID HIM TO DO IT."
"You guys realize that outside of New York, no one has ever even heard of half these colleges, right? When I first got here and I met people who said "I went to Sarah Lawrence" I thought they were talking about a secretarial school."
"Vassar made me the fag I am today."
"If we're really looking for a school to replace Oberlin as Gawker's go-to annoying-liberal-arts-grad-living-and-'being'-in NYC, the prize has to go to Wesleyan. Sarah Lawrence grads seem to be at least partially aware that some people might not have heard of their alma mater, this thought has never crossed the mind of a Wesleyan alum. Just about the only bond shared by the two groups coming out of the school (the weirder-than thou hippies and the cooler-than-thou hipsters) is their unmatchable sense of entitlment."
"While I was at Sarah Lawrence, during an afternoon of acid and lesbian experimentation, my "girlfriend" and I came to the realization that Sarah Lawrence was not really a college at all-- it was merely a posh residential mental health care facility that our parents had tricked us into enrolling by calling it School. That's why we were taking classes in Initiation Rituals and "The Psychology of Children's Friendships". Of course we felt driven to tell as many people as possible the incredible truth we'd discovered. It think it's worth noting that some people actually gave this theory creedence, even without LSD.
However annoying (and I lived through an epidemic of girls wearing skirts over jeans on campus, people getting scabies from frolicking in piles of leaves, and I'm sure I contributed as much pretentious poetry as anyone else) I cheerfully write a check for $700 each month to Sallie Mae and will continue to do so for the next 28 years. SLC gave me an incredible education...That said, I hope we get the vote. I'd hate for us to be the second-most annoying liberal arts college. That kind of mediocrity looks better on Bard."
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